yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
