I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
