my soul wont recognize me after tonight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
