he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Randomize
