ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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