i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
