apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
