gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i came on her dog
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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