you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
