Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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