no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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