He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize