I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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