Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
