We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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