my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
