Kiss
Puke
Say something about gay babies.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
