You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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