So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
