There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
