God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
