So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize