Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
