Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
