there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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