He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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