i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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