drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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