Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
