we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize