singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
