I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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