Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
