i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I smell like Dick and happiness
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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