she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
