Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
