Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
