i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
