is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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