Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize