What did we do last night that was yellow?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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