Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
