just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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