You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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