I saw his package. It spoke to me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
