lets start a swedish sibling band together
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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