Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
