And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
