2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
