just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
whose ass print is on the piano?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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