Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
