we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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