you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
