Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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