So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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