I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
