it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
