i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm really busy with my period
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