You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
