Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
