what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
