I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize