im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize