i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
