1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
