I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
