I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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