i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
