u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
