My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
