hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
